Friday 9 December 2016

Review: Jack Frost (1997)

Stars: Christopher Allport, Stephen Mendel

Budget: Unknown

Directed By: Micheal Cooney

Good lord this is one of them super low budget affairs that are either really bad, so bad their good or just a plain gem in the rough. Now Jack Frost not to be confused with the Micheal Keaton one or the short fat delboy type police inspector, has me split down the middle in how i feel about it. es that's also Shannon Elizabeth getting her kit off in the bath, though you don't 'see' nothing.

It is at times so bad it's enjoyable but at others just downright terrible. I do believe like the gingerdead man it has a small modicum of followers. Except i wouldn't in my eyes alleviate it's standing to cult or indie status just yet. Anyway on with the actual film review.

So Jack Frost is a notorious serial killer, he is being transported across country to answer for his crimes when the truck transporting him collides with a chemical genetic truck.
He seemingly dissolves into the chemical slurry and it's announced that he died due to this. However a little while later Jack is able to reform his body into that of a snowman, the chemical bonded his DNA to the snow. He proceeds to go on another killing spree this time cold, frost and snow based. The town of Snowmonton is his target. Sam the town sheriff is still haunted by flashbacks of Jack despite his rumored death.

The typical thing happens that always happens in old or low budget films. People get killed no one believes the only or few people that see it happen then they get killed themselves. It's a time old and unfortunately worn formula that if done right can still work to a degree. That is not the case for Jack Frost, i know these people are meant to be over the top stupid it's something you do in comedy horror accentuate the tropes but this just takes it one step to far.

Which is the problem i had with this film if had been reeled in just this little bit, snip off that trope there a chip off that tired joke there i think this could truly be a cult classic of greater proportion than it already has accrued.
Some FBI agents arrive in town and proceed to set up a curfew, Shannon Elizabeth who also stars in this (strangely enough getting naked) has revenge sex with her boyfriend only for him to be killed and her rape killed in the shower by the nutty snowman. Se  where i mean over the top?

Jack Finally gets to the police station confronting Sam, then the one FBI agent reveals himself to be from the company who created the DNA acid that made Jack like he is. They explain some silly stuff about the DNA acid having many uses as it can hold the human soul. Then they finally confront Jack In a number of unsuccessful ways, talk about milking the evil guy coming back and then back, and back again. They try blowing him up with aerosols, just plain blowing him up, then melting him with hairdryers and a giant furnace.

Then Sam and his son get trapped, yet his son, the thick little boy has made him oatmeal with ANTIFREEZE in it to stop it getting cold, yeah right?
Well he somehow thinks its a great idea to throw this at Jack and low and behold the antifreeze hurts him. Sam makes Jack chase him and almost dies from an icicle in the chest when a miraculous truck of antifreeze is used to completely melt Jack, they then bottle him up and bury him.
One of the bottle is seen bubbling near the end ready for the inevitable and coming sequel that i know someday i'll have to watch 'cries a little inside'

You may have noticed i spoiled the ending that's so you don't have to go through watching this rubbish yourself, yet I haven't given this zero or even one star I've given it two!
Why? I hear you ask in wonderment, Because it's so bad it's almost good and if you really, really want to try it for yourself i won't deter you or say don't, just be weary and you might be one of those that actually enjoys it, i unfortunately was not, bye!


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