Review: Hellraiser (2022)

Stars: Jamie Clayton, Odessa A'Zion

Budget: unknown 

Directed By: David Bruckner

Hating lately that so many films, mainly streaming are so hard to find budgets for. Guess it's a good way to beat them taxes right?

Aside from that we've had a pretty decent year of reboots and reimaginings so far. With Prey being one of them. We have Halloween Ends up coming too ending that rebooted franchise.

Not been all sing song though, Hocus Pocus 2 was a soulless sequel/reboot, the best part being the witches. So let's take a dive and see if Hellraiser 2020 bares fruit.

First up some people seem to have said there's links to the old ones in this, it's not there's some tenuous nods at the most but it's its own thing. It's a totally new retelling of the old law.

Which isn't a bad thing as it keeps it's roots firmly in the source material but tells a new story in it.

I'll get to the elephant in the room here before anyone starts anything. Yes pinhead is played by Jamie Clayton a trans actress not Doug Bradley. Get over it, like Robert Englund he's getting old. Yeah the last few hellraiser pinheads have been abysmally poor especially fathead from revelations.

The cenobites are meant to be androgynous in nature alluring to both female and male alike. The new designs are fantastic from the box to the new and existing cenobites. Jamie Clayton is by far the best since Doug.

This movie has a heavy emphasis on addiction, in every sense of the word. From drugs, pain, love to solving puzzles. Usually one taking place of another too.

As notes the lament configuration box is different it now takes on several different forms. But to change its form you need to feed it a soul as sacrifice, usually the person unfortunate enough to solve it.

This is shown quite quuckly at the beginning our main bad guy (Voight) makes a sex worker open the box. He is quickly torn apart by the chains. Our big bad then asks to see leviathan, which I'll get to later.

A few years later Riley a recovering drug addict is living with her brother (Matt) and his boyfriend (Trevor). There's another room mate Nora. Her brothers boyfriend persuades her to help him break into a warehouse where he's heard a rich guy keeps a load of valuables. Of course she finds the box there, unfortunately on returning home her brother finds out and scolds her about relapsing and her old shitty ways. She runs off to the park and manages to solve the box without cutting herself (The soul is only sacrificed if the box takes a blood toll).

After an encounter with the cenobites she passes out. Matt finds her then cuts himself on the box, he heard screaming from a nearby restroom then vanishes.

Knowing the box is to blame she takes Trevor to find someone who can explain things. Voights ex lawyer had the box hidden there. She explains things but tries to take the box, in the process cutting herself too. When the two leave for Voights mansion the cenobites come for her too.

Breaking into Voights house Riley finds his journals on the box. About it's different configurations, there's seven and each has a meaning. Though it must take a soul as offering if they bleed from the blade.

Here's where it differs quite a bit more now, the seventh configuration is leviathan. Leviathan is the entity that watches over hell, if you get that configuration you can have an audience with it. Then ask it for a wish/gift, she then sees Matt flayed alive.

I'll leave it here so I don't spoil to much more of the film. It really is worthy of a watch especially if you like up to the 4th film in the OG series. Take heed though this is more like Hellraiser 1&2 much more serious.

Is it flawless? 

No, it's by far an improvement since part 2 though, THN awards this movie a strong 4 out of 5 stars.

Review: The Omega Man (1973)

Stars: Charlton Heston, Rosalind Cash

Budget: ?

Directed By: Boris Sagal

Very apt for today's situation too, if your reading this some time in the future, in 2020 we had a global pandemic from a virus named covid 19, or corona virus.
In this movie (an adaptation of the book I Am Legend by Richard Matheson) a disease has turned people into freakish white, scared very single minded monsters.

Nothing like the book that turned people into very basic minded vampires. The second in adaptations of the book the first being 1964's last man on earth, which i'll do at some point. the third being Will Smiths I Am Legend in 2007. None of them bar the older version follow the book very closely.
I can't find concrete release dates for this some places say 71' others 73', also no budget for it either?

There is another version, an asylum flick, starring the one the only Mark Dacascos. I might, might do it one day too i've seen it and it does not follow the book very closely either.

The book follows one Robert Neville who is seemingly immune to the disease and they also don't know where it originates from 100% either. though throughout the book he starts to learn all he can from books on the subject. The same with the infected, they are not vampires, nor like in the book do they suffer from the same weaknesses as vampires either (like crosses, garlic, mirrors etc). They are also very susceptible to being killed by conventional means.
That's some of the main things changed in the film from the book, It's now military scientist Richard Neville, the virus was known and he's not naturally immune. He inoculates himself with an experimental serum only moments of not being infected left. It works and he becomes immune to the virus.

Months later we join Neville as he tries to occupy his mind, like the book he has succumbed to being alone for a long time. He goes around like the book killing members of the infected who now call themselves 'the family' they are very anti science and see it as the reason for the downfall of humanity now. Neville being 'normal' is the embodiment of all of this too so they naturally hate him.
the film deals with the isolation and loneliness one would face by being the last person alive, going through phases of madness, alcoholism even suicidal. practically being a prisoner of your own mind/devices it's a scary place and one i'm sure people are feeling a lot today.

One day Neville thinks he see's someone else while he's raiding a store chasing the person he loses them, coming to the conclusion that he was just seeing things. Neville is eventually captured by the family and almost burned alive for his technological sins. He is saved by the person he seen, one Lisa and her friend Dutch. In a massive departure he is taken to a place where children are, they are infected but do not totally succumb to the virus until they hit adulthood.
He decides to try and use his blood to synthesis a working serum to help the children, saving the rest of the world would take forever though. throughout the rest of film Neville falls for Lisa, continues his work on the serum and occasionally gets attacked by the family from time to time.

They all come to conclusion that if he does manage to make a cure they will leave the city and make a new home out in the wilderness somewhere. Lisa succumbs to the virus later on helping the rest of the family infiltrate his home. Here we leave off telling you the end of the film like we do in THN as The Omega Man is definitely a classic piece of cinema to be watched.
We award this film a strong 3 out of 5 stars as some of the political messages haven't aged well, the situation however is to real at the moment.

Review: Ernest Scared Stupid (1991)

Stars: Jim Varney, Austin Nagler 

Budget: 9.6 million

Directed By: John R. Cherry III

I know this isn't what you'd call a horror film but it is a spooky addition to the Ernest series of films. Now I live in the UK and these films weren't as well known over here as the US. In fact this was the only one I knew about for a little while, hey I was 9 in 91' lol.

I do have to say after seeing a few more Ernest films that this one was my favourite, though I don't outright hate any of the others I've seen. Ernest goes to Jail at this time is the only one I remember almost as well as Scared Stupid.

So the premise, our lovable fool Ernest accidentally frees a troll demon from a cursed tree. That was trapped in the 19th century this troll kidnaps kids and turns them into little wooden figures. See the Worrols were cursed to be the only ones who could free it.

Ernest breaks the cursed looking tree it was trapped in. That's how it escapes.

The rest of the film is played out with him trying to find out how to retrap the troll and convincing some of the other people in town. The one thing that sticks in my memory and I don't know why is looking for a weakness Ernest sees something called Mi_k and instantly thinks it's a rare bulgarian chutney or something called miak. The troll actually grossed me out as a kid too.

I liked this film quite a lot and THN awards Ernest Scared Stupid a good 4 out of 5 stars.

THN News: Everything We Know About Halloween Ends

Okay so October is quickly descending upon us. With it a whole slew of new horror movies, including a lot of sequels and remakes. Though thanks to it actually getting a theatrical release evil dead rise has been pushed back to April next year. Something I'm both loving and hating.

Then we have the hellraiser remake/reboot which I'm quietly looking forward to. Jamie Clayton is by far the best looking and most unique pinhead since Doug Bradley gave up. The new mask cenobite looks spooky as hell too.

Our main news is one of the biggest things though is the new Halloween Ends film. The last chapter in the franchises newest timeline. It'll be going on peacock which I don't think we have here in the UK. As well as in the cinemas.

There's a 4yr time jump where Laurie is living with her granddaughter. She's wrote a memoir and trying to live as normal as possible. Supposedly a kid dies in the care of a babysitter and boom everything kicks off from there.

Touting that this is the definite end for one of them, that we'll have to wait and see. Theres also rumours that the cinema and peacock version will have different endings too, hope we don't get a Army of Darkness type deal with that lol.

Well that's all we know so far Halloween (the holiday) is looking very good for 2022.

Review: Wes Cravens Shocker (1989)

Stars: Mitch Pileggi, Camille Cooper

Budget: $10m

Directed By: Wes Craven

So Shocker, yeah Wes Craven. Sorry and i know this is going to get me some ire from horror fans especially the die hard fans of this film, of which i know there's a dedicated following.
I did not like this its a mixed up jumbled mess of a film to me. Released at a time where quite a few films had electric chair based horror bad guys.
House 3 (or the horror show), this and The chair a few months earlier.

Like i said this film doesn't know whether it's coming or going in the plot with fake outs, dream sequences and other ways to confuse you.
Now i would expect Wes to pull this out of the hat, the guy was a amazing writer, with Nightmare on elm Street but this was just no where near that level.
As you can tell by the lack of franchise. It does have some performances especially from Mitch Pileggi as the titular bad guy. I'm just happy that this little hiccup led to Wes doing things like new nightmare and the whole slasher revival phase in the 90's.

right just to really summarize this film, after a few fake out dream sequences of varying people being killed. The main cops son (Jonathan) somehow gets linked mentally, psychically?
To Mitch's killer Pinker, this leads them to apprehend him as he's a serial killer anyway.
Pinker reveals he's electrocuted that he's Jonathan's dad.

Pinker has somehow made a deal with the devil that allows him to come back as electricity?
Somehow this allows him to possess others, double ??
I don't get it either, he starts killing others while possessing these people. One person possessed Lt Parker manages to fight off Pinker's control. Now they know Jonathan and some others concoct a plan to try and fight back now.
As with a lot of these films the beating of the bad guy involves making back into a physical form again so they can kill him properly. But that's not actually how they beat him in the very end.
Despite not being overly fond the film it's not bad enough to spoil the ending for you, you might like it after all.
THN awards Shocker 2 stars out of 5.

THN Exclusive: Sideworld Series

Sideworld Documentaries

I recently got sent a screener for a documentary called Sideworld: Terrors of the Sea. I admit a pretty unknown, to me at least, chapter in a series of documentaries looking at stories that blur the line between reality and fiction.

Terrors delves into everything nautical, explaining things like the Mary Celeste to the flying Dutchman, though both those are just used as reference.

I'm glad they got in touch with me because I love wrapping myself up in a quilt (well maybe not in summer) and watching real life spooky stuff. (Not fake shit like most haunted but things really grounded in reality). Goodwins Sands is the first story on there, a terrifying expanse responsible for the disappearance of many ships over time.

The next creatures from the depths, deeply grounded in facts, the deadalus serpent sounds like something I wouldn't want to see!

Through this I also found one on forests and possible cryptids or animals reportedly living in them.

George Popov is the director and narrator of the series as well as Jonathan Russell. Both work at Rubicon films which can be found @RubiconFilmsUK. Both put in months of research into each of the sections in the documentaries. Evident by the amount of information George gives on each piece/chapter. Even some guest narration/appearances by William Poulter (a friend not well known Adam Warlock Will) and Suzie Frances Garton of Haunting at the Rectory.

Rubicon Films also has some other narrative films under their belt too. Hex a 2017 movie and 2020s The Droving too. 

Give support any way you can by watching these very interesting pieces. You'll find them on Amazon and through links on their Twitter.

THN awards Both pieces a strong 4 out of 5 stars, if only because I have to be in the right mood for a Documentary, otherwise flawless execution.

Review: Prey (2022)

Stars: Amber Midthunder, Dakota Beavers

Budget: Unknown 

Directed By: Dan Trachtenberg

 

Wow I wasn't expecting this to he anywhere near as good as it was. In today's time I was expecting at least a little perfection or some kind if writing that made this beyond the realms of believability.

Gladly I was wrong (that believable in the predator world that is.) This proved to be a very decent sequel.  Possibly the best since predator, that's coming from a guy who loves predator 2 mind, fukin' voodoo magic, hahaha.

Put into production near the end cycle of the abomination that was The Predator, (Shane Black you're dead to me). Under the working title of skulls back then. Very little was known, even if it was a predator film or not, just rumours. 2018 passed and everything went to shit for 2 years but they then pressed on with this. Things came out that this was set many years ago with the native Americans, the Comanche.

Then the dreaded word that frightens so many people today. A female lead. I mean I can sympathise with them, some roles and movies have been terrible due it around that time. (Cough star wars).

Then more came out and Dan Trachtenberg was connected and one thing I can give that guy a credit for is doing a good but flawed female lead. Never no super human unrealistically knocking down men twice their size, just using their brains. Even though I wasn't a fan of it 10 cloverfield lanes Mary Elizabeth Winstead was a great protagonist.

Then within the last year we've got stills and concrete plotlines. Set in the 1700s almost 300 years in the past from 1s date, it was a direct prequel too, so still in continuity. Amber was indeed playing a Comanche woman defying her background, but not completely as it wasn't entirely frowned upon just rare that a woman would become a warrior. I haven't as always with streaming services been able to find a budget for this but I know it wasn't a massive amount. 

A few gripes I had about this film were few and very minor. Mainly it's the cgi animals they look very uncanny valley, especially when they move. Also that the predator was clearly getting hurt but healed/stopped bleeding in the next scene. Yes we know predators can heal, but we 

A. Only see it once

B. It takes time in all the older films

C. His technology was older

But that's about it honestly.

Anyway on with the film, beware spoilers though as always I won't spoil the ending, or at least not to much. Naru is our main character she is trying to prove herself to her tribe as a warrior. Her brother Taabe seems to believe in her though others try to tell her not to bother, or worse.

She's not perfect but she's very observant and learns very quick. Unlike most female recent characters she's not perfect. She gets her chance to prove herself when a tiger attacks. Though she notes other things happening around too, she's very observant. Though even sometimes to her detriment. Shes

While hunting the lion she notices something in the forest. The lion attacks and Naru seems to hit it but falls from the tree and gets knocked out. 

She gets told off by her mother and that Taabe had to carry her back. Then we see Taabe bringing back the dead tiger. Which completes his hunt.

As for other things, Naru goes back out to hunt a bear. While doing that she falls into quick sand/mud and nearly dies. She's only saved by her rope axe weapon she created. This then echoes back to Taabe telling her about wet bowstrings. When she goes to shoot the unaware bear her bow string snaps.

Said bear then attacks Naru (in awful cgi) lucky her dog makes it chase him. After a few failed attacks Naru hides in a beaver dam. The bear almost kills her when the predator catches and kills it.

She's caught up by the others by then, actually being bullied quite badly chastised and beaten up. A little later though she and her tribesmen are attacked by the predator. It takes out most of them, then Taabe and Naru get caught by French fur trappers.

Next is pretty much the end of the movie, after the predator kills all of the trappers. Naru and Taabe have a good go against it until it's just left Naru on her own.

I'll leave it there as we don't spoil endings here at THN. One more thing I will say is it's obvious to see why predators changed one weapon to a plasma caster after this.

THN awards Prey a strong 4 out of 5 stars