Review: Willy's Wonderland (2021)

Stars: Nick Cage, Beth Grant, Emily Tosta

Budget: $5.5 million

Directed By: Kevin Lewis

Wow just wow, if you need something to make you smile
this lock down then this movie will put the biggest cheese
eating grin on your face.
This is Nicolas Cage rage at it's finest, now a lot of people
will of course draw comparisons to one Five nights at Freddy's.
Now with the animatronic nasties I can see the similarities,
but that's where it ends, it's just killer (possessed) robots nothing
else like it at all.

Think if evil dead possessed animatronics instead of people
and Nic was a mute Ash then you'd be somewhat closer to
it than a FnaF movie.
Yeah I said mute, Nic barely makes any noise other than grunts
and huffs throughout the film. Its like they said how much for 
Nic Cage?
His manager said x amount then they said what if he doesn't
have to speak?

I also have a strange feeling well two really, it feels like we've met this Nic Cage character before, like he's some odd mix of Ghostrider and Randall from gone in 60 seconds. Though this could well be just Nicolas Cage as the second point is I have weird feeling this is what happens everywhere that he goes to clean, no matter the location lol.
Banging soundtrack pumps up every time The Janitor goes to town on a robot too (yeah his name is the film is just 'the Janitor'). Couple with unique visuals, though the occasional lens flare is a bit annoying from time to time.
Though it's not said in the film anywhere either, I feels like Nic's character is expecting this, like he's in on the joke. Maybe he does know, or maybe this kind of this just happens to him a lot.
The story is very basic and that's fine they keep it simple, despite at one point in the film the girl (Tosta) does try to exposition a bit. Not that it comes to much as good old Nic doesn't seem to give a shit either way really.

I really love the way after each fight if he's hurt he tapes himself up with duct tape, he then cleans up and puts a new clean t-shirt on. The robots do seem to bleed an incredible amount of black oil ichor, the funny thing is every hour Nic takes a 15 minute break, NO MATTER WHAT, he'll then take an energy drink and play pinball until it's over.
This movie is not without it's cliches though, such as the protagonist girl saying he's not locked in here with them, they're lock in up in there with him!

So in the film, a small town where a group killers running a popular eating out restaurant, committed suicide and transferred their minds into cute furry mechanic bodies. They made a pact to lure in caught with a police outsiders to 'feed' them every now and then.
Nic gets burst tyres almost right away due to a police stinger left in the road, he's told if he cleans Willy's wonderland they'll repair his car for free. It's lies of course they just intend for him to get horribley murdered by the robots.

A girl with connections to Willy's gathers some friends to burn the building down, before they do she tries to rescue Nic. He's having none of it and her friends quickly turn into fodder for the puppets. This film i swear they gave Mr cage a bunch of cleaning products and said every 10 minutes a puppet will attack, go have fun.
Theres not much else to say as anymore would spoil the ending, all I can say in any detriment is this film is very shallow don't expect back story and when there is its literally thrown out the window or ignored lol. The film is much more fun than it should be and you should just turn your brain off and have fun with it.

THN awards Willy's Wonderland a remarkable 5 out of 5 with a heavy recommendation to watch.

THN's Top 5 Haunted Places: Scotland

Scotland, ah the next best place in the UK after Wales and Ireland of course, but hey we all got one thing in common, we all hate the English am I right?
No in all seriousness Scotland like most of the UK has a vast wealth of old castles, spooky stories and places linked to ghostly goings on. I hope one day to experience some of these places for myself and maybe just maybe experience something more to sway me in the more believing way!

So here we have 5 places that are some of the most (supposedly) haunted places in Scotland:

1. Crathes Castle

Looking like something right out of a fairy tale book, this beautiful looking castle can be found near Banchory. Built in the 1500's it stands majestically with its unique turrets and towers.
However dig a little further and you'll uncover the secrets within, such as the Green Lady, a spectral woman clad in green (weird huh?) haunting the halls. Dig a little further and you will find the story of the pregnant servant girl who supposedly fled the castle, only to be found bricked up in the wall behind the fireplace at a later date.

2. Glencoe Massacre

One of the most horrific incidents of treachery in Scottish history, in the late 1600's the people of clan MacDonald took in some people who they thought were friendly visitors. No such luck however for they were soldiers on government orders to kill the family due to some uprising of Jacobites and failing to pledge allegiance to the current monarchy.

Though this commonly happened a lot back then, the most frightful part was being the dead of winter many of the family members who fled froze to death in the surrounding mountains and moores. To this day you may still hear their screams or see an apparition while out there!

3. Skaill House

Skaill house actually sit on the Orkney Isles, it's a lovely quite place where people have been rumored to live for over 5000 years!

Due to this the site has seen a lot of coming and goings over the years. As well as countless ghostly happenings documented over thousands of years. from apparitions to noises to worse in the form of demons themselves!
These days people seem to catch the smell of pipe or cigarette smoke where no has been or the ghostly form of a man called Ubby who created a human made island in the nearby loch and was said to have died out there.
Finally the place is also said to be a site for an old Norse burial ground when FIFTEEN bodies were discovered in renovations for opening for the public, carbon dating placed them at the time of the vikings.

4. St. Andrews Cathedral

Seems Scotland has no end to tales of bodies found during renovations of old parts. This place is also guilty of that crime, see one of the two ghosts found here is the Lady in White a ghostly woman seen wearing all white (weird I know). two caskets were found in a sealed room one open bearing a very well preserved corpse of a woman who wore white gloves!
It's not all doom and gloom here though, there's a spirit of a friendly monk that supposedly roams the stairs area too. The place is little more than ruins now but still a beautiful place to visit from the sights I've seen.

5. The Old Tay Bridge

A technical marvel in engineering the old Tay bridge is a massively long railway bridge by Dundee crossing the river between Edinburgh and Aberdeen. It's cross lattice design an innovation of it's day, for being lightweight and low cost. It was finished in the year 1877 but did not open until 1878, unfortunately on an uncharacteristically windy day in only 1879 the lattice gave way killing a whole trainload of people as it fell into the icy waters.
It is said that on the eve of it's happening some people have heard screams from the area of the lost dead, or seen a full re-enactment of the fateful accident!

Review: Another Wolf Cop (2017)

Stars: Kevin Smith!, Leo Farfad

Budget: $3million CAD

Directed By: Lowell Dean

What a bizarre amazing find I found here a little while ago, yes its the second one and I STILL haven't watched the first one yet either.

This is one of those just fun films that translates that feeling right to the screen. With a strangely half decent story-line to boot too!

Even if it isn't translated that way with not the best acting or cutting/editing of films ever.

The effects mostly being practical look great for the budget, I can't find nothing to complain about the wolfcop make-up or suit either.

Made for 3m canadian dollars, about 2.3 US or 1.7 UK. The film doesn't star anyone really famous but does have a few familiar Canadian faces.

What was bloody strange was seeing Kevin smith pop up as Mayor Bubba (uncredited too!).

I also like the play on names, with the main character being Lou Garou, a play on loup garou (werewolf).

Filmed in and around Ontario in 2016. These films are a tribute to 80's style action and filming too.

So as I said I haven't seen the first film so I didn't know any of these characters from the off set. Lou or Wolfcop is apparently an alcoholic werewolf police officer, he got changed in the first film somehow due to an evil company, is all i can gather.

I think it ends up being the same company in this one from what i can gather from the plot, which is some evil guys make some beer that impregnate the populace with aliens. Which like Alien causes a phallic like alien to burst out of the host. There's also some subplot that a guy from the first film is back but he's not the same guy, I have read shape-shifters have something to do with the first one too.

I really need to go back and watch it.

Lou has to stop this nefarious plan along with the help of his two other cop friends, one incompetent one hard core.

Yeah I enjoyed this, I've seen some people say it's not as good as the first but considering this is my first and I enjoyed it I have high hopes when I eventually see it.

THN awards Another Wolfcop a strong 3 out of 5 stars.

THN's Top 5 Haunted Places: Southern Ireland

We now turn our sights to the southern part of Ireland, like Wales and the southern part Northen Ireland is host to many ancient buildings brimming with stories of old too. They tend to use Irish a lot more down there too (like wales Ireland does have it's own language). Maybe some worse than others due to the fact that northern territory is certainly grounded in the fay and supernatural.

Never mess with the wee people, if leprechaun has taught me anything it's that!

Okay here we go first up with:

1. The Hellfire Club, Dublin

Or Montpelier Hill as its also known is one of the (supposed) first Freemasons lodges in Ireland, First built as a hunting lodge in 1725, it was then known as Mount Pelier, now it's a hill but still carries the Pelier name.

Anyway between the years of 1735-41 it was owned by the Freemasons who used the place for sick practices and debauchery, as well as Demonic and Satanic practices. Demons and trapped spirits are said to roam the halls!

 

2. Loftus Hall, Wexford

The site of Loftus Hall is steeped in history, as well as precarious location too!

Out on the Loftus Peninsula adjacent to a lighthouse stands the hall, yet before that in the depths of time in 1170 a knight Raymond Les Gros, built a castle there, then changing his name to Redmond he integrated into Irish society. Later the Redmond Family built a hall around 1350 to replace the castle. In 1650 it was then given to the Loftus Family.

Between then and now the Hall has been host to many, many different things, from nuns to travelers. It is said to be haunted by a black figure that arrives from the Harbor after his boat has forced there by a storm. The young lady of the house was taken heavily with the stranger back then, but was driven mad when she accidentally noticed the stranger had cloven hooves instead of feet.

She also haunts the halls in her mad state.

3. River Nore, Kilkenny

One of three Rivers known as the three sisters that runs through 3 cities in Northern Ireland, Tipperary, Laois and Kilkenny, Kilkenny itself no stranger to death and supernatural situations being home to first witch trials, in 1763 however a different drowning occurred, accidental.

During a great flood a group of 16 people crossing a bridge died when it collapsed sending them into the rushing Nore. People claim to be able to see ghostly figures clawing at the rivers edges in the rising mists and on the banks in the mornings!

4. Leap Castle, Offaly

No exact date can be found for the building of this castle, estimated between 13th and 15th centuries. Built by the O'Bannon clan it was prized for it's fertile grounds around the castle. More recent studies have found that it could have been built on an even earlier Neolithic site of 500bc!

This could have something to do with the strong spiritual energy a lot of people claim to feel here when visiting. There was a lot of infighting with the families in this area too, the O'Carroll's who the O'Bannon's were under had a lot of family strife.

So many deaths, murders and foul play in one spot is said to create such energies, if your a true believer Leap castle is supposedly one of the main places to visit on any list.

 
5. Charles Fort, Cork

Charles Fort is a bastion built on the waters edge in county Cork in Ireland, first constructed in 1682, it's now a heritage museum for tourism. So with all this history and that footfall you can bet some scary and spooky things are seen around the site by people.

And at least one place has to have at least one Lady in White ghost associated with them, Charles fort is indeed home to one. So the story goes, a soldier got married but due to complications he still had to take watch on his own WEDDING NIGHT!

Unfortunately said soldier had a little to much merry juice and passed out at his post, as was the rules of the time period the soldier was shot dead at his post for 'abandoning his post'. His wife distraught at the news threw herself from the fort walls ending her life. Now people have claimed to see the Lady in many a different place in the fort, but mainly in the bedrooms.

Well there we go, five places you might like to check out in Ireland if and when we're ever allowed outside again. Thanks for taking the time to read this, hope you enjoyed it there's more to come, at least one every month or so THN.

Review: Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman (2000)

Stars: Scott MacDonald, Christopher Allport

Budget: Less Than Part 1

Directed By: Micheal Cooney

Ah remember that little comedy horror film with the cult following?
No, not troll or troll 2, the one with an early performance by Shannon Elizabeth and a wise cracking killer snowman.
That's right Jack Frost and I know I made this joke on the first part but not the Micheal Keaton heart warming one either.

In the first film we see Jack on his way to be executed for being a murdering psychopath, just when you think he's escaped he's dowsed in a chemical that melts him at an atomic level.
His DNA mixes with the snow allowing him to form into a snowman at will. Much murderous hilarity ensues as he goes on a killing spree with some quite unique kills racked up and some truly awful puns thrown into the mix.

Unfortunately despite it doing okay Cooney rushed out a sequel that supposedly had half the budget the original did. I can't find anything to back this up, no numbers or documentation anywhere for amounts these films cost. It does show in this sequel what an even crappier budget does and doesn't allow you to do.
In a sequel you want more of the same but ramped up to 20 right?
Unfortunately Jack Frost 2 does not offer this.

We Join the cop Sam from the first film Suffering from post traumatic disorder from his encounter with Jack (even worse than when he first caught him). He's advised to go on holiday by his wife and doctor so he decides to, especially since his two coworkers are also getting married.

Like most Government officials It seems they can't leave well enough alone, the FBI dig up some of the jack infected anti-freeze to do tests on. A janitor accidentally knocks a cup of coffee into the Jack mix and the caffiene and warmth somehow counter the chemical effects and Jack is reborn. Theres a new twist now though Jack has some of Sam's blood in him now which psychically links them both.

So he follows Sam to the Cobana in the pacific by just flinging himself into the sea and washing up on the beach. I think he's immune to heat now too or something like that, Agent Manners returns too even though he seemed quite dead in part 1, This is when Sam starts to realise there's something amiss.
Killings ensue with carrot noses being used as deadly weapons, this is where the budget shows they aren't nearly as good or as fun as the first films.

Despite the heat not effecting him as much as it should, he does seem to be able to cool the whole place down and make it snow! Despite the kills being subpar to the first films they are certainly increased 3 or 4 fold with many people dying in this one.
Sam tries to use the anti-freeze trick again and it does work, unfortunately Jack is now resilient to the chemical from being bonded with it by the coffee (I think). Jack also now has the ability to reproduce by spiting up snowballs that turn into little snowmen. These little guys devour poor Manners after he finds a nest of them.

The way they find out how to kill them and thus kill Jack in the end is incredibly odd compared to the anti-freeze ending of the last one. Despite not being as pleased with this one as I was the first film it's still got 'some' of the charm of the first. Cooney does apparently want to get a 3rd one off the ground but that was back in 2016, if he ever does I hope he has a better budget and brings back the feel of the first one more (supposedly a giant Jackzilla).
THN awards Jack Frost 2: RotMKS, a decent 2 out of 5 stars with a watch if you enjoyed the first one recommendation. 

Review: Train to Busan Presents: Peninsula (2020)

Stars: Gang Dong-Won, Lee Re

Budget: $16 Million

Directed By: Yeon Sang-Ho

Every time we look to the East for films something good always comes, be it Ringu, Ju-on or Godzilla. It goes the other way too, clearly on the undead hype director Yeon took the zombie genre and added a flair that was much needed in 2016's Train to Busan.

It was eerily creepy, tense yet had heart that made you feel each major characters ending. Along with the ending that gave us an incredibly tense finale to boot.

It was to many as it was to me cinema gold. Which when I heard of a sequel coming I was positively squeeing with delight. Every bit of information I leapt on, then it started to fall apart when I seen the first trailer.

BAD CGI I mean PS2 game cut scene bad, silly gimmicks like using radio control cars and Kids drifting in cars.

I kind of hoped it was a trailer didn't do the film justice kind of deal, I hoped that it would come together and gel well in the finished format. It almost very almost did for the first few minutes of the film. I watched getting my hopes at the tense feels of the first ten to fifteen minutes of this film. Then it jumped to the future and everything unraveled like a poorly knitted scarf...

It's like everything they did from making Alien into Aliens they did everything right, added action, heart likable characters expanded the universe. It feels like Peninsula tried to do this but failed terribly by adding the wrong type of stuff. Namely no good characters, no returning characters, not that that's needed. Not if you take the story then expand it in a meaningful way surely then?

OH it involves a plot to just steal some money and takes things from films like fast and furious, Land of the Dead and even resident evil. Suppose i'd better get on with the film.

The great beginning, starts off with some akin to the last film with our protagonist Jung a Korean army captain. He's escaping with his sister, her son and brother in-law in the initial break out of the virus. They make it to a ship but not before they have to leave behind another family with a young kid. OH that's not going to come back is it?
In the ship an infected man starts to attack everyone, unfortunately Jung's Nephew is one of the people infected. His sister refuses to leave her child forcing Jung to lock everyone infected in the cabin on the ship, much to the chagrin of Chul-min (his bro in-law).

Cut to FOUR years later now, we have s suitably mentally scarred Jung doing odd jobs for money and supplies. This is where it quickly descends into bad territory, they are recruited by the American mobsters to retrieve 20 million dollars, really you take a lame storyline like that for your sequel?
Bad man, just bad, they agree and quickly get to the money. It's while on the way back they are ambushed by some thugs who've formed some kind of gang. From here the two nobodies with them are quickly dispatched.

Jung gets separated from Chul but it rescued by some stupid toys and a Tokyo drifting teen girl, He quickly realises once introduced to them that the family is the one he left behind at the beginning didn't see that coming now did we.
Chul is capatured after the Gang discover him in the back of the van he was hiding in and Land of the Dead make him fight for survival in an arena. There is a pretty cool Rat King type zombie amalgam here that's about it.
Like most bad guy tropes the gang members that realise theres a ton of money in the one truck decide to double cross their boss and run off without him with the cash. 

Jung learns that theres a boat waiting for him so he goes to get the money, then learns Chul is alive too, so goes to get them both. Chul is unfortunately killed by the lead bad guy Hwang while saving Jung's life, bummer right?
They are then chased to the boat by the remaining bad guys, they use some zombies to help them win against the thugs. The girls grandpa dies from wounds too, I won't spoil anymore as we don't here at THN unless the film is abysmally bad. What I will say though is Peninsula end on a much more higher note than Busan did.

So I wanted to like this, hell I liked the beginning and some of the visuals (shitty CGI aside) are just fantastic. The numerous zombies up against the glass, the Rat King zombie thing are great. But it's just so bland and by the numbers compared to the OG TtB. So THN awards TtB Presents:Peninsula a decent 2 out of 5 stars, it might make an entertaining time filler if nothing else is on.

THN's Top 5 Haunted Places: Northern Ireland

Another place close to my heart, as my Nan was from NI making me 1/4 Irish too, not only that Ireland has a close thing with all things Halloween. From Samhain to other occult celebrations it's a fun time in Ireland around that time of year. I hope to experience it one day
Being a place like Wales where a lot of older buildings/areas still exist to this day, in very good condition too. Let's go on a little exploration hey?

1. Ballygally Castle Hotel


Built in 1625!
The castle is one of the only 17th century places in Northern Ireland still used as a residency today. In it's time it's housed many folk and been many things. Many leaving a possibly ghostly imprint on/in the halls and walls of the old castle.
In the 1700 it housed many protestants due to the civil war of the time, it was in the hands of the Shaw family until 1800's when they became bankrupt and had to sell the place. passing hands and families many times in the years up until 1950 when Lord Cyril turned the castle into the hotel it is today, residents claim to have heard voices in certain rooms.
Workers have seen apparitions and heard noises too, maybe it's some of the former owners or other dead folk!

2.White Horse Hotel

Looking at this place you'd not think some a modern(ish) looking place would be home to anything spooky. As such looks can be deceiving the Whitehorse Hotel is home to a stagecoach that many people have seen pull up outside the hotel. It then dispenses a portly man who walks up the doors then promptly vanishes without a trace.
Then there's the usual footsteps in the corridors and even bathroom noises when no one is around!

3. Mourne Mountains

The Mourne Mountains or to many just the Mournes is a very rocky mountain range in N. Ireland it's said to home to many spirits and powerful supernatural forces.
This one such spirit is the spirit light of Slieve Binnian, supposedly guides you or even blocks the path to some haunted trees!

4. Dunluce Castle

Though in disrepair it's one of the most haunted and oldest castles still standing in the whole of N. Ireland built in 1500 by the MacQuillan Family, though the earliest records of the castle are from 1513. It was then seized in 1550 by MacDonnell clan, they were a very brutal clan who brought an era of violence to the area.
Lots of ghosts are said to be seen, some believing the wronged members of the MacQuillan clan to haunt the site. Many ghostly noises have been put on record too.
You can go and explore around the grounds and see excavated items too!

5. Dark Hedges

This hellish looking place is the aforementioned Dark Hedges, planted in the 18th century by the Stuart family. They are beech trees that make this beautiful, though spooky archway of trees.
Spooky for a reason it's said ghostly carriages have been seen thundering down the road, ghostly sounds and apparitions come from the bushes.
It's also been used in the series Game of Thrones in Episode 1 of Season 2, little claim to fame there that makes it a popular site to see.

That's the north part of Ireland done, next time we do southern Ireland, both are massively historic places like wales I'm sure these areas will be a wealth of other top 5's later on.
This is THN signing out, bye!