Budget: unknown
Directed By: Bobby Miller
Oh man, oh jeez, well lets start off with other things first. This is a SyFy channel film and supposed a reboot of sorts for the franchise. It was great to see practical effects used again but I feel the puppets and things were the actual props used it the older movies.
There's a scarred crite leader, now admittedly i only watched this once but I never knew why he has that eye scar other than that puppet had it and well fuck it they used it.
This movie also sees the return of Dee Wallaces character but she's had a name change, or uses a code name to avoid 'potential legal issues' which says to me they weren't really allowed to mess with past stuff or limited at least.
Now on with a little explanation of a few things, this movie feels nothing like a critters movie in anything other than name and inclusion of the characters.
It was a bland story with wooden acting and felt like someone had once heard of critters a while ago, not ever watched one of the films or did when they were young then tried to write a story based on that all that.
It includes a lot of things new like a queen crite?
Also i'm sure crites were asexual or it's never been revealed if they have a multi sex civilization in previous movies.
All it's ever been said they eat and lay eggs producing more crites, which is even thrown out in this movie too as it seems like they new lay small versions of themselves in people now?
Which brings me to another point, this film brings up new and interesting things but goes nowhere with them at all.
In a Reboot or re-imagining or Remake you still usually keep things that are familiar to the viewer like I said earlier this doesn't. There's no Charlie character, though the main characters dad is a drunk and a police officer but that's it. There's no bounty hunters though I think 'aunt sue' is supposed to be that but if she is it's very lightly. I know the originals weren't super gory either but this takes the piss as it doesn't show hardly anything, at one paint the critters form their usual big critter ball. They chase ONE person like this and you don't see the aftermath when he's run over like you do in the past.
Character wise the daughter played by Tashiana is terrible, yes she's lost her mother a long time ago and is driven but her attitude stinks towards her guardian drunken sheriff dad, maybe because he's a drunk you say?
but then it's no, as he's not an ass hole he's actually quite 'functional' and what he says is usually true or right Drea just throws it back in his face. She's interested in getting into college and finishing it to honour the memory of her dead mother who had to drop out when she got pregnant with her, which is a nice motivation at least.
So the film we see some craft crash to earth in a small american town, a deliver guy sees this and goes to check out what it is. He is quickly devoured, we then meet our protagonist Drea she works in the same place, she's been refused entry into a college/university she's applied too.
The delivery place she works in the owner asked if she's seen the delivery boy she hasn't, he sends her to the uni she keeps applying for to deliver. we cut to a field where the delivery boy is and we see little crites pop out of him like mogwai from a wet gizmo, no eggs in sight.
Somewhere Dee Wallace playing this aunt sue has hi-tech equipment that has tracked the crafts, she sets off to the crash sites. Every time she catches up with where the critters were she's like one step behind them for a few times.
At the university, Drea meets an old friend from school, after oddly drooling over a boy like a love sick puppy. He's a proper Chad with a personality that seems all the place (in fact everyone seems like their personality is eclectic in this movie just bad writing i guess).
This friend gives her a number to a woman on the board of people who let people into the school, if she babysits for her it might let her get some good grace under her belt for gaining entry. She takes her brother with her as he apparently fancies the girl she's looking after.
After the internet is destroyed by the critters they go for a walk and find a second craft (though that's off screen out of view) with a new female type critter that's wounded, it's cute but it's also an odd addition as stated earlier. They take her back to treat her wound, the other critters smell her and give chase though. While healing the females wounds the normal critters attack the town and one hidden in Drea's car attack them. they stop it but it's also sabotaged her car too.
They walk to see the drunk cop guy guardian, he doesn't believe them about aliens. Despite them having proof Drea see's a bottle on his desk and storms off. They go to see her employer to borrow his truck to get out of town, due to some factors they decide to get a satellite phone from the kids mothers office in the university. There the Chad gets killed by the rolling critter ball the aunt Sue woman shows up and they kill loads of critters, the female is a good critter for some reason and helps them fight the evil black furred ones. The film feels like they ran out of money near the end too as it end really abruptly.
THN hated this bland shitty reboot etc, it's even worse then the newest leprechaun film too, I swear SyFy managed to buy the old puppets and rights for pennies with certain rules/restrictions. Whatever the case it's just not a good continuation, THN awards Critters Attack 1 star out of 5
No comments:
Post a Comment