Review: Willy's Wonderland (2021)

Stars: Nick Cage, Beth Grant, Emily Tosta

Budget: $5.5 million

Directed By: Kevin Lewis

Wow just wow, if you need something to make you smile
this lock down then this movie will put the biggest cheese
eating grin on your face.
This is Nicolas Cage rage at it's finest, now a lot of people
will of course draw comparisons to one Five nights at Freddy's.
Now with the animatronic nasties I can see the similarities,
but that's where it ends, it's just killer (possessed) robots nothing
else like it at all.

Think if evil dead possessed animatronics instead of people
and Nic was a mute Ash then you'd be somewhat closer to
it than a FnaF movie.
Yeah I said mute, Nic barely makes any noise other than grunts
and huffs throughout the film. Its like they said how much for 
Nic Cage?
His manager said x amount then they said what if he doesn't
have to speak?

I also have a strange feeling well two really, it feels like we've met this Nic Cage character before, like he's some odd mix of Ghostrider and Randall from gone in 60 seconds. Though this could well be just Nicolas Cage as the second point is I have weird feeling this is what happens everywhere that he goes to clean, no matter the location lol.
Banging soundtrack pumps up every time The Janitor goes to town on a robot too (yeah his name is the film is just 'the Janitor'). Couple with unique visuals, though the occasional lens flare is a bit annoying from time to time.
Though it's not said in the film anywhere either, I feels like Nic's character is expecting this, like he's in on the joke. Maybe he does know, or maybe this kind of this just happens to him a lot.
The story is very basic and that's fine they keep it simple, despite at one point in the film the girl (Tosta) does try to exposition a bit. Not that it comes to much as good old Nic doesn't seem to give a shit either way really.

I really love the way after each fight if he's hurt he tapes himself up with duct tape, he then cleans up and puts a new clean t-shirt on. The robots do seem to bleed an incredible amount of black oil ichor, the funny thing is every hour Nic takes a 15 minute break, NO MATTER WHAT, he'll then take an energy drink and play pinball until it's over.
This movie is not without it's cliches though, such as the protagonist girl saying he's not locked in here with them, they're lock in up in there with him!

So in the film, a small town where a group killers running a popular eating out restaurant, committed suicide and transferred their minds into cute furry mechanic bodies. They made a pact to lure in caught with a police outsiders to 'feed' them every now and then.
Nic gets burst tyres almost right away due to a police stinger left in the road, he's told if he cleans Willy's wonderland they'll repair his car for free. It's lies of course they just intend for him to get horribley murdered by the robots.

A girl with connections to Willy's gathers some friends to burn the building down, before they do she tries to rescue Nic. He's having none of it and her friends quickly turn into fodder for the puppets. This film i swear they gave Mr cage a bunch of cleaning products and said every 10 minutes a puppet will attack, go have fun.
Theres not much else to say as anymore would spoil the ending, all I can say in any detriment is this film is very shallow don't expect back story and when there is its literally thrown out the window or ignored lol. The film is much more fun than it should be and you should just turn your brain off and have fun with it.

THN awards Willy's Wonderland a remarkable 5 out of 5 with a heavy recommendation to watch.

THN's Top 5 Haunted Places: Scotland

Scotland, ah the next best place in the UK after Wales and Ireland of course, but hey we all got one thing in common, we all hate the English am I right?
No in all seriousness Scotland like most of the UK has a vast wealth of old castles, spooky stories and places linked to ghostly goings on. I hope one day to experience some of these places for myself and maybe just maybe experience something more to sway me in the more believing way!

So here we have 5 places that are some of the most (supposedly) haunted places in Scotland:

1. Crathes Castle

Looking like something right out of a fairy tale book, this beautiful looking castle can be found near Banchory. Built in the 1500's it stands majestically with its unique turrets and towers.
However dig a little further and you'll uncover the secrets within, such as the Green Lady, a spectral woman clad in green (weird huh?) haunting the halls. Dig a little further and you will find the story of the pregnant servant girl who supposedly fled the castle, only to be found bricked up in the wall behind the fireplace at a later date.

2. Glencoe Massacre

One of the most horrific incidents of treachery in Scottish history, in the late 1600's the people of clan MacDonald took in some people who they thought were friendly visitors. No such luck however for they were soldiers on government orders to kill the family due to some uprising of Jacobites and failing to pledge allegiance to the current monarchy.

Though this commonly happened a lot back then, the most frightful part was being the dead of winter many of the family members who fled froze to death in the surrounding mountains and moores. To this day you may still hear their screams or see an apparition while out there!

3. Skaill House

Skaill house actually sit on the Orkney Isles, it's a lovely quite place where people have been rumored to live for over 5000 years!

Due to this the site has seen a lot of coming and goings over the years. As well as countless ghostly happenings documented over thousands of years. from apparitions to noises to worse in the form of demons themselves!
These days people seem to catch the smell of pipe or cigarette smoke where no has been or the ghostly form of a man called Ubby who created a human made island in the nearby loch and was said to have died out there.
Finally the place is also said to be a site for an old Norse burial ground when FIFTEEN bodies were discovered in renovations for opening for the public, carbon dating placed them at the time of the vikings.

4. St. Andrews Cathedral

Seems Scotland has no end to tales of bodies found during renovations of old parts. This place is also guilty of that crime, see one of the two ghosts found here is the Lady in White a ghostly woman seen wearing all white (weird I know). two caskets were found in a sealed room one open bearing a very well preserved corpse of a woman who wore white gloves!
It's not all doom and gloom here though, there's a spirit of a friendly monk that supposedly roams the stairs area too. The place is little more than ruins now but still a beautiful place to visit from the sights I've seen.

5. The Old Tay Bridge

A technical marvel in engineering the old Tay bridge is a massively long railway bridge by Dundee crossing the river between Edinburgh and Aberdeen. It's cross lattice design an innovation of it's day, for being lightweight and low cost. It was finished in the year 1877 but did not open until 1878, unfortunately on an uncharacteristically windy day in only 1879 the lattice gave way killing a whole trainload of people as it fell into the icy waters.
It is said that on the eve of it's happening some people have heard screams from the area of the lost dead, or seen a full re-enactment of the fateful accident!